Clarifying and Connecting With Values for Well-Being

April 2026 By Elizabeth Lembo

Struggling to connect with what we care about can make it difficult to find meaning and purpose, leading to profound impacts on well-being over time. On the other hand, re-anchoring to our values when we feel adrift, especially during stressful or demanding periods of work, can help reconnect us to our motivation and passions for the work we do or help us balance and prioritize personal values.

Engaging with values supports our ability to live rich, meaningful lives,1 and can even play a role in our recovery from stress and burnout.2 In this way, values are important pillars of well-being. They serve as internal guides, shaping how we want to behave in the world and informing the choices we make each day. Yet while “living according to our values” may seem simple and straightforward, translating that idea into consistent, day-to-day behavior, personally and professionally, can be challenging.

The ebb and flow of life, combined with competing priorities and demands, can cause us to drift away from values we once felt deeply connected to. In fast-paced, high-pressure fields like the law, it becomes especially important to intentionally pause and reconnect with what we care about most. Behavioral science offers compelling insights into why this matters. Research suggests that engaging with our values can reduce acute stress reactivity,3 buffer neuroendocrine and psychological stress responses,4 modulate our experiences of physical pain,5 and lower defensiveness.6

Values are deeply personal, and there are many schools of thought related to their importance. This article approaches values through the lens of contextual behavioral science and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), an empirically supported framework for understanding human behavior that centers on the importance and influence of historical and situational contexts. From this perspective, we’ll explore practical strategies for clarifying and connecting with your values in ways that support well-being, restore balance, and sustain engagement, even when professional demands threaten to overshadow our personal needs.

Understanding Values

Simply put, values are chosen life directions.7 They are principles that can be used to inform or guide our behavior toward what we find meaningful and fulfilling. For this to happen, it’s essential that we choose our values freely and not subscribe to a particular value because we feel internal, external, or societal pressure to prioritize it over others.8 We may find ourselves feeling unsatisfied or have difficulty finding meaning in our choices and behaviors if we are acting on values that don’t reflect what we care about most.

It’s common for values to be confused with goals, aspirations, and things we want to achieve or complete. Like arriving at a destination on a map, goals can be accomplished. Once achieved, we can cross a goal off our to-do list and memorialize it as a feat of our success. Values, on the other hand, are more like a compass. Their direction can be helpful in setting and accomplishing goals, but as an ongoing principle that informs choice and behavior throughout time, the value itself can never be fully achieved or accomplished. For example, making partner or hanging a shingle are goals that can be achieved, but someone with these goals may be driven by a deep desire for their values of autonomy, excellence, or change. Accomplishing the goal does not mean one is no longer driven by the value.

Contrary to common perceptions about goal achievement, acting in alignment with our values does not always feel good; it can even be emotionally painful or challenging. This can be true even when choices serve our well-being, because what we care about and what causes us pain are the opposite sides of the same coin. Navigating our values can also become difficult when they compete for our time and energy. For example, striving for professional excellence may conflict with prioritizing personal health or family needs. But even though engaging with our values is not a magic solution to life’s difficulties—and is not always simple or enjoyable—it represents a meaningful, eudaemonic pathway toward well-being.

From the ACT perspective, there are two main components to living according to our values. First, we need to have clarity about what our values are, and then we need to connect with them through our actions, choices, and behaviors.9 As you read this, take a second and ask yourself if you know what top values guide or influence your choices and behaviors both personally and professionally. Where do they overlap, and where do they differ? How often are you able to connect with them during your daily life? As you consider these questions, try to assume a noncritical, nonjudgmental stance. It’s entirely normal to identify very real limitations related to values in the context of our busy lives and unpredictable world.

Values Clarification

There are many ways to explore your values if you’re not quite sure what drives you most. If this is the first time you’ve reflected on personal values and you think this might be helpful for you, consider taking the time to do a values card sort.10 Card sort activities ask you to sift through a stack of either physical or virtual cards that list individual values and then sort them into piles according to how important each value is to you. Some people find that the sorting process helps them narrow down to a top 10 or top 5 set of values. Other people find that looking over one of the many lists of values available online and circling or highlighting values works better for them. When sorting or circling, consider each value independently, reflecting on why it matters to you and how it adds meaning to your life.

Values clarification may feel difficult if you identify so many values you care about that you’re not sure which ones are most important. Another way to approach this is to zoom out and consider value domains, which are “broad categories or areas of living that many people find to be important, though individuals differ in terms of how important each domain is to them.”11 The 12 domains are:

• family (other than marriage and parenting);
• marriage, couples, or intimate relations;
• parenting;
• friends and social life;
• work;
• education and training;
• recreation and fun;
• spirituality;
• community life;
• physical self-care (diet, exercise, and sleep);
• the environment (caring for the planet); and
• aesthetics (art, literature, music, beauty).12

Consider which are most important to you and ask yourself how you want to behave in these domains. What kind of attorney, judge, colleague, parent, spouse, friend, or neighbor do you want to be? What qualities do you hope to reflect in your actions and behaviors? How do you want to treat yourself? What values will motivate you to behave how you want to in these domains, even when it’s difficult to do so? The answers to these questions can help narrow your understanding of values to actionable choices that inform your behaviors: honesty, respect, connection, challenge, mastery, curiosity, love, tradition, reciprocity, patience, self-control, generosity, humility, adventure, courage, the list goes on; but what matters most is what stands out to you. If you find it helpful to bounce ideas off someone else, consider exploring your values with someone you trust who knows you well.

Connecting With Values

Once you’ve clarified what you value, consider how you live by and connect with your values through your behavior during your daily life. You’ll likely find that some values are more represented in how you spend your time and behave than others. This is normal and does not present an issue, unless you are feeling strain or a lack of meaning and want to make some changes. If you notice that there’s a value you want to have a greater presence in your life, start small and consider what behavior you can engage in to increase its presence in your day by 3% to 5%. You may even be able to double-up: say you want to increase connection and also want to spend more time exploring the outdoors; invite someone whose company you enjoy to join you on your outing. You’re likely already engaging with some of your values on a daily basis, possibly without consciously noticing it. Increasing your awareness of your engagement with value-based activities can help you feel more connected to them as intentional choices you make to support your well-being.

It’s important to connect with both your personal and professional values, which may or may not overlap. While what we value professionally plays a large role in how we see ourselves, professional values alone may not tell the entire story of what we care about. Are there aspects of your work that impact your ability to engage in personal values that don’t overlap with what you value professionally? Experiences of burnout and moral injury can occur because we’ve lost connection with what matters to us the most, or because we don’t have the resources or ability to live by our values the way we want to in certain circumstances or contexts that are out of our control.

If your work exposes you to materials or interactions that undermine or conflict with some of your deeply held values, moving toward those same values outside of work can help provide balance. For example, if you value community, collaboration, and peace, but your work routinely exposes you to challenging content or highly contentious interpersonal dynamics, how could you foster some or all of these values in your personal life? Volunteering for a cause you care about, engaging in hobbies, joining club sports, or participating in cultural or faith communities are examples of behaviors that could support these values when they are not represented at work. If you feel all your energy and time is concentrated in pursuing professional values, and this is causing you strain, consider how you might engage with personal values during your free time. Connecting with a diverse range of values provides a powerful means for caring for yourself through adverse experiences and life’s general ebb and flow.

Examining Values With Openness, Curiosity, and Self-Compassion

This article is not intended to give you another measuring stick by which to judge yourself. No one lives in perfect alignment with their values at all times. It’s also common to face instances where our values come into tension—when honoring one leaves us feeling grief or discomfort over not fully honoring another.

If you find upon reflection that you may not be living in accordance with your values the way you’d like to, be kind to yourself; self-criticism isn’t likely to help. Try to take a step back and get a big-picture view of everything that’s on your plate. Then, instead of crafting a story about how you need to do better, or how you lost your way, consider one small action you could take today that aligns with one of your values and give yourself credit for taking a step in the direction of what matters to you most.

Be considerate toward yourself and everything you have going on; reserve bigger changes for times you’re not already stressed and try not to weaponize what you think you “should” be doing or valuing against yourself. The aim is not perfect, constant alignment—that is not realistic. Instead, view your values as a steady compass: one of the many tools that can support your well-being by offering growing awareness of what matters most to you and helping you balance your personal and professional priorities.

For more well-being related strategies, visit the COLAP website at www.coloradolap.org. Or contact COLAP at info@coloradolap.org or (303) 986-3345 to request a free, confidential well-being consultation.

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