Networking for Lawyers (and Law Students) Who Hate Networking
Five Dos and Don’ts That Actually Matter
March 2026
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How many of you have heard some version of this advice: “You need to network more”?
Maybe it came from a well-meaning career counselor during orientation. Maybe it was a mentor over coffee, or a panel of successful alumni dispensing wisdom to a room of anxious law students. The advice is always delivered with the same earnest urgency, as if networking is the secret ingredient that separates thriving lawyers from struggling ones.
And technically, that advice is not wrong. Building professional relationships is genuinely important. But most of us have no idea what “networking” actually means or how to do it without feeling fake or transactional. We understand the concept in theory, but the practical application feels murky at best.
For years, I thought networking meant forcing myself into rooms full of strangers and subjecting myself to awkward small talk, forced business card exchanges, and transactional encounters that felt inauthentic and cringeworthy. As a first-generation professional, I did not come from a family of lawyers, so I had no natural entry point into these conversations. But what changed everything was realizing I had the whole concept backward. Networking is not about being the most charming person in the room or collecting the most business cards. It’s about asking good questions, following through on what you say you will do, and treating people like human beings instead of stepping stones. Most important, it’s about building genuine relationships, one conversation at a time.
Below are some “dos and don’ts” that guide my approach to networking. I’ve honed these guidelines over my 20 years in practice, and I hope they are useful to you wherever you are on your journey.
Do: Lead with Curiosity, Not an Agenda
The lawyers I know who are best at building relationships share one defining quality. They are genuinely interested in other people’s stories—not just their titles or their connections, but their actual journeys through the profession.
When you reach out to someone whose career you admire, resist the urge to immediately ask for something. Instead, ask a question that shows you have actually thought about their path. For example, don’t say, “Can you help me get a job?” Say, “What would you tell your younger self about navigating this field?” I’ve been on both sides of these conversations, and the difference in energy is palpable. That shift in tone can open real doors because you’ve shown humility and interest rather than desperation or entitlement.
Don’t: Only Reach Out When You Need Something
If someone only hears from you when you need a job or a reference, that is not networking.
Real relationships require maintenance. This doesn’t mean you need to constantly reach out to that person, but it does mean you need to exist in their world outside of your own crises. Forward an article that made you think of them. Congratulate them on a win. Comment thoughtfully on something they wrote. These small gestures build equity over time, and they communicate something important: I value you beyond what you can do for me.
Every few months, I take a few minutes to go through my LinkedIn or phone to see who I haven’t caught up with in a while. Sometimes it’s just a brief message: “I saw your firm’s announcement—congratulations on becoming partner!” Other times, it’s longer, depending on what feels appropriate. The point is to show up consistently even when you have nothing pressing to ask for. Trust and generosity are built in these in-between moments. If you want your network to show up for you, you have to show up for them—without strings attached.
Do: Make the First Move, and Be Specific
Networking isn’t reserved for extroverts or people with fancy titles. In fact, in Karen Wickre’s book, Taking the Work Out of Networking: Your Guide to Making and Keeping Great Connections, she reminds us that networking doesn’t have to mean working a room—it can be as simple as sending a thoughtful email or having one good conversation. So even as an introvert, reach out. Send the email. Introduce yourself after a panel. Some of the most valuable relationships in my legal career began because I simply dared to ask someone for a few minutes of their time.
When you do reach out, be specific about what you hope to learn and why you chose them specifically. Try something like: “I am a 2L interested in privacy law, and I noticed your career spans both Big Tech and government. Would you be open to a brief call about how you navigated that transition?” This approach gives them something concrete to respond to and makes it easy for them to say yes.
Avoid vague phrases like “pick your brain”—it suggests you have not thought through what you actually want to learn. The specificity shows respect for their time.
Don’t: Confuse Proximity With Connection, or Overplay the Relationship
Meeting someone once at a reception doesn’t create a relationship. What creates a relationship is what happens next, and this is where most people drop the ball. After a conversation, send a brief thank-you note. Connect on LinkedIn with a personalized message that references what you discussed. If you want to stand out, just do the basic work of staying in touch.
It’s simple, but it’s not always easy, especially when you’re busy with classes or cases or deadlines. That’s why systems help. A spreadsheet tracking who you have met, what you talked about, and when to reconnect is not glamorous, but it works better than relying on memory alone.
The legal world is also smaller than you think. If you met someone once at a conference, do not claim you “work closely” with them. People check, and inflating your relationship can backfire quickly. Similarly, that person you are tempted to dismiss or speak poorly about might be interviewing at your firm next year. That recruiter who seems unhelpful today might be the general counsel of your dream company in five years. Your reputation is built in small moments—how you treat the paralegal when a partner is not watching, what you say when someone is not in the room. All of it counts. Kindness is remembered, but so is arrogance.
Do: Add Value, and Build Across Boundaries
Even as a law student, you are not showing up empty-handed. Maybe you can’t offer job opportunities or big introductions yet, but you can offer thoughtfulness. You can offer to introduce two people who should know each other. You can share research you’ve done that might be relevant to someone’s practice. You can simply be reliable and follow through on what you say you will do, which sounds basic but is rarer than you might think.
Last month, a 2L I had spoken with once sent me a note: “I remembered you mentioned you were looking for resources on AI regulations in the EU—I came across this white paper in my research seminar and thought of you.” That is a 30-second gesture that will make me far more likely to be helpful when she reaches out again. She was not thinking transactionally but relationally, which makes all the difference.
It’s also tempting to stay in your comfort zone—networking only with people who look like you, think like you, and work where you do. But some of the most valuable insights come from people outside your bubble. Make space for cross-disciplinary conversations. Connect with people at different stages of their careers. Learn from those in different practice areas, sectors, or industries. A robust network isn’t just wide—it’s diverse. That diversity brings perspective, creativity, and opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise imagined.
Final Thoughts
Networking is an ongoing practice that you build into your professional life without a clear endpoint. Some of the people who matter most in my career now are people I met five or ten years ago. At the time, those conversations seemed nice but unproductive, and there was no immediate payoff. But relationships compound over time. The associate you helped when they were struggling with a research project might become a hiring partner. The lawyer you met at a CLE might refer you a major client. You cannot engineer these outcomes, but you can create the conditions for them by being someone people remember fondly—someone who showed up, added value, and treated people well.
If you remember one thing, let it be this: Build your network before you need it. When a crisis hits—a layoff, a difficult workplace situation, a career pivot—you want to reach out to people who already know you, trust you, and genuinely want to see you succeed. That kind of network cannot be assembled overnight through desperate LinkedIn messages or last-minute coffee requests. It is built gradually, through small, consistent actions over months and years.
Start now, because building genuine professional relationships is one of the most fulfilling parts of a legal career. The people I’ve connected with through intentional relationship-building are not just names in my phone or contacts on a list. Many have become trusted collaborators, thoughtful advisers, and true friends.
Be curious, consistent, and kind, and the rest follows.
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